New Year's Resolutions!

Well today is the last day of 2011, and I don't normally make "New Year's Resolutions". I feel like the minute I say something aloud, "I'm going to go to the gym for an hour everyday for 3 months", I find myself losing motivation to stick with it! I'm cautious about making any about my anxiety/panic disorder because I feel like just saying something like "I will no longer let my anxiety keep me from doing ______", the anxiety in that situation will become so unbearable it will keep me from doing _____... haha! Which is really a silly thing to think, but still it's in the back of my mind!

Even after saying all that, I think I'll go ahead and make some New Year's Resolutions for 2012, some goals to start the year off with...

For years I've been an on-and-off vegetarian..My reasoning behind this is mostly of an ethical/health conscience nature. I do eat fish regularly though. I have considered eating meat if locally raised/ free range, humanely treated, but have come to the conclusion that I really don't want to eat meat. Growing up both my mom and grandma were vegetarians, so meat-free meals aren't new to me. But I've found it extremely hard to avoid meat all the time, for example dinners with in-laws, I hate inconveniencing anyone and will typically eat what is served instead of being "difficult".. This year I would like to try to stick with a vegetarian diet (with the exception of fish!)..

My husband and I both enjoy eating out..while we rarely eat fast food we love trying new restaurants! As hard as it is to say I know a lot of the money we could be putting away is being wasted during these outings! Another goal I'd like to set is that we cut back on eating out.


Anxiety-wise I have a few...

I would love to start caring less what others think of me! This has always been something I've struggled with, and has held me back from doing many things! I feel like if I were able to overcome this a lot of my anxiety would disappear, because once that fear of judgement is gone there isn't much left to "panic" about..

I've mentioned that I'm back in school, and I am anticipating an uncomfortable 6 months once practicals and clinicals begin! I've been dreading these last few months since the program began, but I know I'm capable of doing it. I'd like to stop focusing so much on my anxiety and catastrophic thoughts (I can already see myself failing before I've even begun!)

Lastly I've noticed that I tend to worry a lot whether it's about the health of myself and others, or something that's happening months down the road! It is so draining/exhausting and such an absolute waste of energy! Normally there is nothing productive that comes out of me obsessively worrying... While a little bit of concern/ awareness can be beneficial, obsessive worrying isn't. It changes nothing. I'd like to spend less time this year worrying, especially about things I have absolutely no control over! I plan to be more conscious of when I'm just worrying to worry, and stop the thoughts there..


:-) Happy New Year!!!

Winter Vacation Updates

My winter vacation has been wonderful so far! I can't say enough how great it is to be back in Las Vegas, and with family. For me classes start back up on the 3rd of January, which is a day I also have a huge test! So I've spent a lot of time in my bedroom studying. I would post more, but really nothing too eventful has happened... Anxiety hasn't been much of an issue for me thus far (ha once I got off the flight!), I do still get those little bouts of nervousness when I realize how long I've been anxiety free, but that normally happens anytime I'm anxiety free for too long.

I guess one time that really sticks out for me was visiting a friends house. I went over there to say hi to he and his sisters, his mom wasn't home and the girls suggested I wait a little while for her to get home so she could say hi! Up until that point I forgot about anxiety, I had no anxiety going over there, but when it came to having to wait there for her and her husband to get home I suddenly wanted out of the situation and felt trapped! Silly, I know! Nothing big came of it, and the feeling eventually went away. I wonder why I didn't feel anxious when the greeting was on my own terms? But suddenly when I wasn't "in control" of the situation the anxiety kicked in, this is a pattern I see a lot!

While I've been in Las Vegas I had a chance to visit one of my favorite stores- "Herbally Grounded" This is a store I absolutely LOVE! I went shopping and bought quite a few new herbs/vitamins/products that are supposed to be helpful for those suffering with anxiety/panic disorder and some I already love- Hopefully in one of these next posts I'll be able to share some of them! :)