Well today is the last day of 2011, and I don't normally make "New Year's Resolutions". I feel like the minute I say something aloud, "I'm going to go to the gym for an hour everyday for 3 months", I find myself losing motivation to stick with it! I'm cautious about making any about my anxiety/panic disorder because I feel like just saying something like "I will no longer let my anxiety keep me from doing ______", the anxiety in that situation will become so unbearable it will keep me from doing _____... haha! Which is really a silly thing to think, but still it's in the back of my mind!
Even after saying all that, I think I'll go ahead and make some New Year's Resolutions for 2012, some goals to start the year off with...
For years I've been an on-and-off vegetarian..My reasoning behind this is mostly of an ethical/health conscience nature. I do eat fish regularly though. I have considered eating meat if locally raised/ free range, humanely treated, but have come to the conclusion that I really don't want to eat meat. Growing up both my mom and grandma were vegetarians, so meat-free meals aren't new to me. But I've found it extremely hard to avoid meat all the time, for example dinners with in-laws, I hate inconveniencing anyone and will typically eat what is served instead of being "difficult".. This year I would like to try to stick with a vegetarian diet (with the exception of fish!)..
My husband and I both enjoy eating out..while we rarely eat fast food we love trying new restaurants! As hard as it is to say I know a lot of the money we could be putting away is being wasted during these outings! Another goal I'd like to set is that we cut back on eating out.
Anxiety-wise I have a few...
I would love to start caring less what others think of me! This has always been something I've struggled with, and has held me back from doing many things! I feel like if I were able to overcome this a lot of my anxiety would disappear, because once that fear of judgement is gone there isn't much left to "panic" about..
I've mentioned that I'm back in school, and I am anticipating an uncomfortable 6 months once practicals and clinicals begin! I've been dreading these last few months since the program began, but I know I'm capable of doing it. I'd like to stop focusing so much on my anxiety and catastrophic thoughts (I can already see myself failing before I've even begun!)
Lastly I've noticed that I tend to worry a lot whether it's about the health of myself and others, or something that's happening months down the road! It is so draining/exhausting and such an absolute waste of energy! Normally there is nothing productive that comes out of me obsessively worrying... While a little bit of concern/ awareness can be beneficial, obsessive worrying isn't. It changes nothing. I'd like to spend less time this year worrying, especially about things I have absolutely no control over! I plan to be more conscious of when I'm just worrying to worry, and stop the thoughts there..
:-) Happy New Year!!!
I can really relate to you with nearly everything you've said.
ReplyDeleteI used to see myself failing also when I was studying law. I'd see myself failing then have panic attacks during the exams. But over time I learnt to overcome it. I wish the same for you also! I think the university environment is really difficult for those of us who have anxiety....But I'm sure you will surprise yourself and do better than you expected. It's amazing how were so accustomed to thinking of the worst case scenario - but what about the best case scenario?
I also used to worry about everyone's health, particularly my parents...It was exhausting...I'd always be asking them what their eating and make sure that they eat healthy.
I've been veg for a few years. What helps me is adding in heavier stuff to fill me up with protein - beans, quinoa, tempe....I also add some heavier vegetables in - like sweet potato and pumpkin. I also have fish now and then but have tried to limit it because of the contamination of the sea. There's a lot of heavy metals like mercury found in fish at pretty high levels.
Happy New Year to you and all the best with your goals :)
I'm so glad someone could relate! :) Really I am! I look around my classroom sometimes and everyone seems so calm, collected and confident when faced with these challenges, while I'm just doing my best to keep my knees from shaking together! LOL :)
ReplyDeleteThe health anxiety is something I've struggled with for years, truly since I can remember. Already it has been a struggle to stop myself from worrying about it and we're only a week or so into the new year! :) But I'm doing better!
Yeah same for me, I really have to fill up on higher protein foods, when eating vegetarian or my blood sugar seems to go on a rollercoaster with all the carbs... :) Sometimes it feels like it can take a little longer to plan out meals, but otherwise it's been going great!
Happy New Year to you! :)